My Why

I follow Tabitha Brown on social media because she speaks so much truth with so much love, and some days that’s exactly what I need. She recently posted a video about why we use social media and what the end goal is. The answer is different for everyone, and some of us don't quite know the reason. I myself have struggled with social media's all consuming nature in the past and have stepped back from it several times in my personal life. But when it comes to creating a brand and marketing that brand, social media can be a very valuable tool.

Now that I’m working to relaunch my presence as an author on social media, Tabitha's video struck me as a good one to take the time to watch and absorb. In the end, her message was simple, be authentic and find your why. Why are you sharing on social media and what are you sharing? If you’re just sharing to be seen and posting to post, then what is your message really worth? This really made me think.

I don’t just want to post so that people see my face, hear my name, and buy my books because I’ve been carelessly blasting on social media. I want to connect with people and I want to share my story. Not so that people can know me better, but rather so that they can gain encouragement and inspiration in their own journeys through my story. Furthermore, I want to keep my account personal, not political.

Often social media is used as a platform to demand and seek social justice. The focus shifts as the narrative shifts, and I've always struggled to know where I stand in using it in that way. Of course I feel strongly about the countless injustices that still crop up far too often in the media. I find hate of any kind absolutely appalling, and ignorance even more so. Unfortunately, I've found that you can't react half of the time or halfheartedly. It's all or nothing when it comes to what you respond to or what you share, otherwise you might lead those who follow you to believe that what you care about has limitations. The truth is, what I care to educate myself on and what I care about in general is not limited, therefore, I could make a career on sharing my feelings on what drives my heart. Therefore, my fear is that my whole online presence could be consumed by these narratives while still making very little impact by sharing my thoughts and views, because they will never be able to fully represent my stance or the steps I take in my personal life to seek growth, change, and justice.

In the end, I don't want to sway the minds of people who turn to me for influence based on what I believe to be true from one moment to the next or to argue with people I don't see eye-to-eye with. I have been blessed in my life to come in contact with only people who believe fundamentally the same things, but might see it from a different viewpoint or see a different solution as the answer. And that discrepancy alone at times can be enough to divide people. And I believe that division is the absolute last thing our world needs right now. I would much rather spend my time learning from those who speak with a steady voice while I close my mouth and listen, and that's what I intend to keep doing. Training myself to close my mouth and open my ears, because what I have to say has a lot less value than what I have to learn going forward.

I've thought a lot in the past about how public figures use their platform. The messages they share, the stances they take, and the influence they have. My thoughts, feelings, and views on every topic undergo a constant evolution. As I learn more, open up more, and consider more, I polish how I see the world (the good, the bad, and the ugly) and how I'm able to interact with it. I see people taking firm stances on social issues, impassioned by feelings and facts alike and I'm learning that this kind of public relationship doesn't work for me. I don't want to react on emotion alone, and facts take time and intention to uncover. By the time one topic's media presence has warn off, another has come to light, and I'm learning again. This isn't a process I choose to share with the world, rather one I hope my followers are willing to understand is ongoing behind the scenes. In closing, social justice is not my why, but that doesn't mean I'm not learning every day on this topic to grow in my own understanding.

Am I sharing to market my books? Honestly, no. The truth is, my books won't be for everyone. My first five self-published novels are riddled with imperfection. They mark a chapter of growth and personal discovery in my life, but if all I'm talking about is trying to convince you to go and buy them, then my readers may miss the story behind their creation, which is truly where the magic lies. So far, I've self-published two YA paranormal books, two contemporary romances, and one thriller/suspense romance. I have readers who have enjoyed them all, and I have readers who have a favorite or didn't enjoy some of my books as much as others. Art is such a subjective industry. Some readers are sticklers for grammar, every mistake they find pulls them out of the story and they can't enjoy it. Other readers hold onto the plot and characters alone and don't take mind to the rest. When you're self-publishing, your resources are limited. When I was self-publishing in the beginning, my husband was a specialist in the Army. We had one income and writing was a hobby I couldn't afford to invest big in. So, for me, to use social media with the hopes of getting my books into more readers hands without reaching readers on a personal level, I imagine the result could be disappointing.

So, after all of that, what is my why? It's simple really. I hope, with my experience and the insights I've gained over the past decade, to encourage other writers, creatives, and entrepreneurs to get out there, try, fail, fall, and get back up. I want to help as many people as I can gain the understanding that everyone's process looks different, everyone's process takes time, and we are all at different stages in our process. I want to encourage others to jump head first into their passion, their dreams, and their gift.

So often we hear about success stories that start at the beginning of someone's public success story rather than while they're still in the trenches. With authors, we might hear about how many query letters were sent before they landed an agent, but the journey they took just to get to that point isn't as widely circulated. How many books did they write before one got published? How did they come to craft and polish their literary voice? Before self-publishing was an option, authors relied on traditional publication and representation alone if they ever hoped to hold their book in their hands. As the industry changes, that's not necessarily true anymore. We can hold our work in our hands and reach readers on our own by using various self-publication options that have been made available over the years, putting the power of our success, quite literally, in our own hands. That comes with the risk of jumping before you're ready of course, and thrashing around a bit as you learn how to navigate the rough waters of the industry. As scary as it is, as hard as public criticism can be, I'm empowered by the opportunity to act as an example for those who seek publication as well. Not as a flawless or perfect example, mind you, but a relatable one. Someone who isn't afraid to take a chance at the risk of being criticized for it.

If I'm being honest, which I always try to be, I don't naturally like exposing myself to criticism. I've never been revered as someone with incredibly thick skin. I don't WANT to be the target of mockery or ridicule, but I realize that you kind of have to pick which comfort you'd rather have. The comfort of knowing you've taken the reins of your own destiny, or the comfort of knowing that you're less likely to be torn apart on the internet for taking a risk because you've gone the traditional route. To be clear, you're never really safe from judgement or opinions, that's just part of putting yourself out there.

In closing, you are my why. My readers, my followers, those who stumble upon my page looking for inspiration, and the dreamers who won't let anyone else set the timeline for their goals and success. If you're reading this and you've been wanting to take that first step or that giant leap into your dreams, go for it! I'm here to tell you that it won't be easy, but it will be worth it.